Sharing my Closet: Thoughts before kicking the bucket.

Maybe I'm bored out of my wits because of this intolerable heat. Ugh, the perks of living in the desert. You're not left with much choice in this matter. Stay outdoors and die or stay indoors and bore yourself to death. You'll die both ways therefore I favor the less morbid way, so the latter it is. Indoors - I surf: couch surfing, channel surfing, internet surfing, cook book surfing, dog days soundtrack surfing and the list goes on. Told you it's so electrifying! Ugh. So before I die of boredom, I thought of the things I ought to do before I welcome dear sweet death.

I made a draft of my bucket list a few years back and on this helluva dragging day, I've managed to finalize it. Upon writing everything down, I came to realize that I have yet to satisfy a lot of unfulfilled desires. Still pondering about my so called Saturn Return, I also recognized I had an insane and shiny quarter of a life. Utterly surprised I've a substantial number of items scratched off my list. I always see myself as a person who is devoted to the pursuance of pleasure and self gratification. A hedonist is the closest noun that you can attach to it. I seek to do things that would hit my spot, no matter how exotically adventurous or dramatically simple that experience would be.

So dear reader, here I am shackles released, sharing with you all the things I want to do while I'm still here.

1. ~~Create a bucket list~~ - When you write things down, you are more likely to achieve them. Make the sky your limit, freeing yourself from limitations help you see that some things aren’t all that crazy, stupid and dangerous after all. I say these are actually great opportunities in disguise. And that’s the biggest lesson of all.

2. Solve a Rubik's cube - I've always wanted to know how solve this cube. This thing really got me frustrated. Well I tried, but I gave up - easily. So since this made it on my list, I'm going to make it happen. One of these days.

3. Skydive - This has been a life long dream. I've been drooling on the thought of jumping out of the airplane. I want to feel that rush when you leap out, like your stomach leaves you for a second. That unexpected feeling, I think that's the most incredible sensation of all. And so in about two months from now, I will take that leap. I'm going to fly, baby! =)

4. Smoke a Cuban cigar - Nothing is more Cuban than cigars. They say it's like the "Holy Grail" of cigars. I am clueless about about them, honestly. I've just seen a bunch of movies of those actors cutting the cap and producing smoke like a smoke machine creating a more macho illusion. Remember Al Pacino's movie, Scarface? Now, that's hot.

5. Climb a mountain - Oh, yes. The great outdoors. This has got to be one of the most challenging for me. It's like really stepping out of my comfort zone. It involves suffering - climbing your way uphill through an unfamiliar territory, unpredictable weather and carrying heavy packs. Sure, climbers are blissful when they reach the top, and then what? That's when it hit me, maybe it's the glorious period when you come down from the mountains that they're after. After all those pain, anguish and uncertainty one endured, you almost feel like a super human. For once in my life, I'd like that - feel like a super human. So okay, this is a go - the when, I don't know.

6. Speak another language fluently - French in particular mainly so I can understand what the guys in the office talk about. Si mon tonton tond ton tonton, ton tonton sera tondu. Go on, Google it. Haha!

7. Light up a spliff at a cafe in Amsterdam - Light lang naman! Haha! In 3 months time, woooohooo!

8. Help out a random stranger in distress - Oh yes the super hero in me. =)

9. ~~Fire a gun~~ - The most amazing feeling of squeezing that trigger. Read my previous entries. I'm a Rainbow, Happiness is a warm gun

10. ~~Go wakeboarding~~ -This is a semi-scratch off. I've gone kneeboarding actually, should stand up that board in a month's time. Can't wait. =)

11. Bathe in the Ganges River - This body of water is sacred to the Hindus. Bathing in the river is believed to wash away one's sins. So I think I need that, do you? However, pollution of the Ganges has become so serious that bathing in and drinking its water has become very dangerous. Paano na pala?

12. Watch the Olympic games - Who doesn't find watching sports appealing? I mean come on, it's the only time we can yell as loud as we want to without getting ourselves in trouble.

13. Drive my dream car - Cars. I've 2 in mind. Oh please, let me get my hands on these.

1962 Aston Martin DB4 convertible

1963 Austin Mini Cooper (in yellow)

14. Drink beer at the Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany - What could be more merrier than drinking beer and eating sausage for 16 days? Beer and sausages are my thing. Have. To. Do. This.

15. Create a signature dish - My friends call me the Google Chef. When I came here, I can't even fry a thing. Pero ngayon, magsabe ka lang kahit ano, lulutuin ko. Basta may internet connection ha? Haha! So now, I have to really work on MY signature dish. Walang google google. I'll be famous for it, I swear. Chos.

16. Learn to tango - Simply because it's the most romantic type of dance ever created. Plus it makes you look like you have killer legs.

17. Make my own wine - When my friend Tine and I were traveling Italy by train, we passed by vineyards. That's when this silly fantasy of making wine came upon us. Gathering fresh fruit and go through that long and winding process. Suntok sa buwan na magkaroon ako ng sariling vineyard, so pwede nang homemade wine na galing sa market ang prutas.

18. Scuba dive and ~~snorkel~~ - Remembering my "Little Mermaid under the sea" days. They say scuba diving isn't that difficult, but I have a fear in staying underwater so this would be very uneasy for me. I tried snorkeling and it was totally nerve wracking at first but the experience was so rewarding. So I'd say yes to scuba diving.

Snorkeling in Coron, Palawan and Maldives

19. Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday! Laissez les bons temps rouler! Why I want to go? Because it's loud, very crowded, raucous and incredible!

20. ~~Ride a gondola in Venice~~ - Tine and I didn't exactly ride on it so it's semi-scratched off. We were thinking of riding it with a boyfriend or a fling at that time, hahaha! Baka mapilitan kame magsweet-sweetan habang nagcrucruise sa canal eh. So I have to go back with an arm candy, maybe one day. =)

21. ~~Dance like nobody's watching~~ - My goodness, this hilarious Maldivian night. The locals started playing music and inviting guests to dance with them. I think I was possessed by the drum beat and started dancing like a lunatic in the middle of the restaurant while everyone's eyes were on us. I felt stupid but happy after.

22. Visit a real Blues Bar in Chicago - My dream escape from music's commercialism. Ito ang tinatawag na tamang tugtugan lang.

23. Visit the Stonehenge - I'm after the puzzled look on my face while looking at these standing stones.

24. African safari - I love animals. In fact I call all my friends and loved ones animals. I don't intend on having pets, because I just can't so appreciating them from a distance is the best thing for me. Into the wild baby!

25. Learn chess - I find this a very intellectual and strategic game ergo it's really not for me. So learning this would really hype up my bucket list.

26. Spend a night at a haunted house - I just miss the younger days when you walk down the street with your friends and then you pass by this huge, creepy looking house, look at each other, then start walking fast and scream "Haunted House!" May ganun din ba kayo? Anyway, medyo brave ako sa mga ganitong bagay. I'm more scared of the living creatures. Still, I want to try this just for kicks.

27. Milk a cow - Why not? I think this is super fun!

28. Explore the Macchu Picchu - I'm an "allure of ruins" "beauty of decay" type of person. So everything old, musty and "wastelandic" (not a word) appeals to me. I don't really know why, but I see real beauty in them. The Machu Pichhu ruins are located 7,000 feet above sea level on a small hilltop in Peru. Must. See. This. Place.

29. Visit the Great Pyramids of Giza - Would be better if visitors were allowed to go inside.

30. Catch a wave - Wala lang catch lang, pero sa tingin ko hinde ko magagawa to.

31. Ride an elephant - Do you remember the story of the elephant and the mouse? Well I feel like a mouse so came up with the decision to ride an elephant and we'll be the best of friends. Ang labo. Haha!

32. A stroll on the Great Wall of China - My best girls Rona and Rach visited the Great Wall early this year. She said the experience was amazing. It's a reminder of the ancient history of Chinese people. We might go next year, during the summer time. yay!

33. Taj Majal - In this imperfect world, sometimes you just want to see perfection.

34. Bunjee Jump - So I could work on my trust issues. So when I part ways with the ground when I take that leap, it would force me to trust the equipment being used. I tried the PLUNGE in Bohol about 2 years back and that feeling of nothingness took me to the edge. Maybe I'll schedule this two years from now.

35. ~~Visit the Colosseum~~ - RUINS. It was the first amphitheater built in Rome. When Tine and I were there I can't help but think about those games that were held in the Colosseum for over 400 years. Imagine how the spectators witnessed an untold number of deaths and grand spectacles. Man vs man, man vs animal - those idiotic things people do for fun.

36. Play any instrument - I'm a certified music lover, but I can't play any instrument. I think that's the reason why I succumb to gigs and concerts, to watch people do what I can't. So, paano 'to, ano bang tutugtugin ko? Harmonica? But okay, I'll give it a shot, kahit isang kanta lang.

37. ~~Stay in a water bungalow in Maldives~~ - I didn't really sleep inside a water bungalow, I stayed in a beach bungalow. But I spent hours each day swimming beside a water bungalow so I guess that counts. Hahaha!

38. ~~Learn a martial art~~ - It's a sport that allows you to compete with yourself. With me, it's fighting with my own fears and weaknesses. Plus it keeps you in great shape without running on a treadmill. Check out my Muay Thai experience in this post. You let some girl beat you?

39. ~~Go to Ferrari World~~ - So Ferraris everywhere, that's about it.

40. Bartending - To mix cocktails! Hinde naman pwedeng inom ka lang ng inom! LOL!

41. ~~Star in a play~~ - I did! Back in college, I was a member of UST AB's Artistang Artlets. I was lead in a play called 'Kawalan'. I was an apprentice then and I actually won Best Actress. Hahaha! Didn't know makapal talaga mukha ko.

42. Stand atop the Eiffel Tower - Ugh. This romantic tower. I'll be there in 3 months and no french kissing.

43. Tour the White House - Dreaming of sipping tea in the oval office while one of the world's most powerful man orders a strategic nuke attack. Ka-tense!

44. Watch a space shuttle launch - Being that my dream of becoming an astronaut was shattered, I can't put that on my list. So a launch is the closest that I can get. Have to find means to do this.

45. Party at the Carnival in Rio - They say that if there were a festival one must attend, the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro it is. The Samba Parade is the culmination of the event, during which people from all walks of life join together to let loose and party. Okay, I'm in.

46. Watch a movie in a drive-in theater - This is my idea of a real date. Drive in theater, box of popcorn (atbp. maraming maraming food), front seat of the car. Saan ko hahagilapin to?

47. ~~See my favorite artists/bands play~~ - Thrilled to have watched McCatney, Sumner, Boyd, Gray and Badu. I still have a long list with me, I won't stop till I get to see them all.

48. Get married - Pwe! How did this even get on my list? Perhaps it's the gown I'm after. I'll make it a pseudo wedding then. The entire ceremony minus the marriage, oks na ako dun. Hahaha!

49. Drink an expensive bottle of champagne - I just want to know if there's really a difference between this and a cheap bubbly. Magagawa ko lang to if it's for free. =)

50. Fly first class - No fetal position while sleeping, no holding my pee because the passenger beside me is sleeping, no need to call the attendant to have an alcohol refill and the best thing is I wouldn't have to step on my seat just to put my baggage in the carry on compartment.

51. Celebrate St. Patrick's day in Ireland - Going green, parade, Irish food and a barrel of Guinness.

52. Ride a submarine - The rival of diving. At least I'll feel safer inside this thing. Question is, where do I go to ride this?

53. Visit the Louvre museum - Home of that famous smile and other amazing pieces of art. I'm bound to discover what you have for me 3 months from now.

54. Drive a motorcycle - One of my greatest fears is riding this piece of death engine. But I always have this bittersweet desire of riding one since I saw Tom Cruise on that Kawasaki Ninja 900 / GPz900R, gliding through the sunset in Top Gun. Fine, I'll give it a try.

55. Write a book - I love writing my thoughts, but turning them into a book? Me, a paperback writer? If comic books count, probably.

56. ~~Visit the Vatican City~~ - A tear fell when Beb and I entered the city, that I certainly did not expect. The feeling was just overwhelming, considering that I'm not very religious. I mean I do believe in God, figured what is right and wrong and I pray, that's it. But when I was there, I can't explain the kind of sensation that went over me.

57. ~~Shop in Milan~~ - Nauseating + Feet murdered. Good thing there's Gelato to end this tiring day.

58. Coachella! - Most people say this is the new generation's Woodstock. Although based on what I read and heard, it's incomparable. Concept is the same though - campground, people watching, recreational drugs, a li'l bit of nudity and of course the music. See, it's not that bad of a parody. Anyway, I've been dying to go, for the music of course.

59. Tea Ceremony - Calms the conflict in every situation.

60. Paint something - It would definitely be something abstract. A very disturbing abstract painting.

61. Cirque du Soleil - The circus! I will never forget the first and last time that I've watched the circus. It was in Araneta Coliseum and boy was I in seventh heaven then. Heard that Cirque du Soleil is very visually stunning and entertaining. Hope to catch one of their shows very soon.

62. Visit Mount Rushmore - Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln all in once place.

63. ~~Rock star for a day~~ - Kaya and I always dreamt of becoming Rockstars. Whenever we converse on Skype she'd always teach me and my friends, the correct stance, the face, the attitude, even the words they say. It's so hilarious! So on her birthday last year, the entire family were rockstars for a day. It was loads of fun.

64. Christ the Redeemer in Rio - Aside from the Carnival, I'd really love to see this statue. So when Bong was there a few months back, I was green with envy. After Brazil, he went straight to Dubai for a visit, sobrang inggit na inggit lang ako sa mga kwento niya.

65. Skinny dip - A bucket list should include cheap thrills, you know. Can I really do this?

66. Shave my head - Every girl has a love/hate relationship with her hair. Straight, curly, long, short, colored, anything you can imagine can be done. But to shave one's head would take a lot of courage. You'd need a perfect face like Natalie's and Demi's to pull off this look. If I do decide to go for it and end up hating it, I could always wear a wig and keep in mind that it would grow back.

67. Buy a house - My dream house? Mediterranean. As the name implies, reflect the style of homes found in the Mediterranean region, notably Italy and Spain. Mediterranean house plans tend to be open floor plans with high ceilings. They frequently have large outdoor spaces. Sobrang na-hook ako sa mga ganitong houses after watching Godfather movies a gazillion times.

68. ~~Observe the view from the top of Burj Khalifa~~ - This view is not really from the topmost floor. But this is as high as you can get as a tourist. View was breathe taking, so happy to share this experience with the family.

69. Perfect a magic trick - Magic! I'm a virgin when it comes to tricks. Thought it would be fun to learn one and show it off to friends and strangers. =)

70. Sign language - I just know I'll need it in the future.

71. Red Square in Moscow - No place better represents Russia than Red Square, or Krasnaya Ploshchad. It began life as a slum, a shanty town of wooden huts clustered beneath the Kremlin walls that housed a collection of peddlers, criminals and drunks. It has also been a site for public executions.

72. Visit Petra - "Rose red city, half as old as time" It's me and my ruins fetish again.

73. Try every single attraction at Disneyland - Childhood dream unleashed. Will ride everything for as many times as I can until I start throwing up. See you in 3 months!

74. Notredame Cathedral in Paris - What I'm really after are the gargoyles and chimeras. Sure they were built into the ends of the gutters to drain rainwater off the roof; but I find them very enigmatic. The chimeras are just there sitting, scanning the whole of Paris. They are animal and human figures, half-man and half-beast, grotesque and horrific creatures with eagles’ beaks and wings, lions’ talons, serpents’ tails. See you my little ones in 3 months.

75. Learn pottery - Who could ever forget this 'let's-make-pots-i'm-a-ghost' scene in the movie Ghost? A hand made pot will last far beyond the life of its maker. So kahit 'ghost' na ako, at least may maiiwan akong alaala. Anong pinagsasabi ko? =)

76.Swim at "The Beach" - More likely to swim at an untouched island. In the book or the film, an illusion of a virgin island was well presented. Yes we have plans of visiting Ko Phi Phi Leh beach in Phuket but I'm still digging into something more reserved an uninhabited.

77. 56 Hope Road Kingston, Jamaica - Bob Marley museum and former residence. Would really love to see all the good stuff inside.

78. Join the Peace Corps - I can't, not a citizen of the USA. But I vow to do my best to help out.

79. Be on the cover of a magazine - The most nutty item on the list. I can scratch this off actually, bilang gumawa gawa na ako ng mga sarile kong cover. Favorite ko yung RICHES!

80. ~~Start a blog~~ - I did, and very pleased about it.

81. Party at the Playboy mansion - I'm a huge fan of Hugh Hefner and the Playboy bunnies of course.

82. Pose nude for a painting - If I was solicited for it, I'd no problem doing it. Two conditions: My girly bits won't show and I get to keep the painting and hang it on my bathroom wall.

83. Donate blood - Life is precious. It has no alternative. My wish to donate blood springs from my inclination to share. I know how it feels to need transfusion because my dad had two in the past months. Kidney failure can cause anemia. Dialysis may also cause it. Blood transfusions are given when the anemia is severe. It made me realize that donating blood is equal to donating life itself. Too bad my dad and I don't share the same type. And so I vowed to be a friend to anyone who needed help.

84. Definitely get inked - My frustration. Read my previous entry Between friendships and tattoos. One day my friend, one day.

85. Watch a Broadway musical - I would like to see my face when I watch a Broadway curtain go up for the first time. First on my list is the West Side Story. Jets and Sharks!

86. Stare at "The Kiss" by Gustav Klimt, Osterreichische Galerie Belvedere - This beautiful 180 cm x 180 cm oil and gold leaf canvas brought the emotion of love and symbolism to the whole world. It can be noted that this painting showed intensity, passion and joy. Its art is made of modernity and a very close relationship with the erotism. The Kiss is a discreet expression of Klimt’s emphasis on eroticism and the liberation therein. This artwork is deviant from Klimt’s frequent portrayal of women as the lascivious femme fatale. So fate takes me to Vienna, Austria, I think I would spend an entire hour just staring at this canvas.

87. Seattle Space needle - A symbol of Seattle. I originally thought the Space Needle was built for space discoveries, I was way off and quite idiotic. The Seattle Center and Space Needle were built for the World’s Fair in 1962. When I saw Sleepless in Seattle, I just knew I have to go there.

88. Read at least 2,000 books - So help me, God.

89. Kiss someone famous - How do I go about this? Ask someone if they're famous enough then ask for a kiss? Or, or just grab that person's face and just plant a sloppy kiss without question? Any suggestions? Insane.

90. ~~Ride a dune buggy in the desert~~ - I've been living in the desert for years and it was just about 3 months back that I had the chance to ride a buggy. Good thing my good friend Bong came over for a visit. Minsan effort magpakaturista sa sarile mong tirahan. Hehe. It was a memorable ride, Chat was driving the thing at muntik na kaming tumilapon. Just what I had in mind. =)

91. ~~Travel somewhere on a train~~ - Exciting at first but way too dragging after the first two hours. Tine and I tried to make the most out of it. Pati yata buhay ng mga kapitbahay namin sa Pinas napagusapan na namin eh. We took the train from Milan to Rome and back. Next day from Milan to Venice and back.

92. White water rafting at Iguassu/Iguazu falls - Braaaaazil!! This is all Bong Malong's fault. We were really planning to go there this year, but due to budget restraints we decided to go somewhere else. So this is number one on our list next year. Hopeful.

93. Kiss a total stranger - Inspired by a story of Yang Yaqing, a Taiwanese student studying in France who ought to kiss 100 strangers. Check out her blog site. I know deep in my heart that I won't be able to achieve this, but if opportunity appears in front of me, I would most definitely grab it. Good luck. Btw, 3 photos below are Yang's.

94. Send a message in a bottle - Idea was from a favorite song by 'The Police'. My message would be: GET A FREAKING LIFE. Sweet, and direct to the point.

95. ~~Make a wish at the Trevi fountain~~ - Wish didn't come true yet. Kulang ata yung baryang tinapon ko. =)

96. Go karting - In the next few months I will. Vroom vroom time!

97. Go to a strip club, get a lap dance - Mixed feelings here. Neither full condemnation nor full acceptance. But hey, there's nothing wrong with observing, right?

98. Mother a child, name her after a favorite song - My greatest blessing. My beautiful daughter, Kaya Jamaica. I know it'll be hard to explain to her the things I ought to do before I go, but when she tries to beg off on some items, she'll always be the boss. But knowing her, mashadong mapagpatol sa tingin ko eh supportive pa, hehe.

99. Read the Bible (cover to cover) - Will do my best.

100. Ride the Virgin Galactic - Outer Space! Ngayon din. As their tag line goes, "Book your place in outer space." Kailangan nang masigasig na pagiipon neto. Hay.